Our precious son, Kanaan, is 21 months old. He’s been in the process of potty training for months due to his own desire to do so. This week, we transitioned to the big potty with the little insert seat that keeps them from falling into the watery abyss below because he keeps insisting I place him on the big potty now. He is obsessed with the toilet. On two occasions, once with his daddy and once with me, he has reached his tiny hand inside to splash the water, which granted him a full head to toe sanitation and more talk of how the potty is for using the bathroom and nothing else.
Well, yesterday, our son, whose mind and body realize that he is nearing two, was playing perfectly in our room like the wonderful child he is. I was completing tasks around the house and walking every few seconds between our room and the guest room approximately four steps away. Near the end of my tidying up, I had made two of those four steps toward the guest bedroom when I heard a distinct clink. The sound that a ceramic toilet lid makes as it hits the basin. I whirled around and flung myself into our bedroom where I had a direct line of sight to a gorgeous, dirty blonde haired boy whose entire face was engulfed in an intoxicating smile sitting perfectly inside the bowl of our toilet. I was flooded with emotions. 80 percent of me wanted to laugh hysterically, 10 percent of me wanted to spank his bottom and the other 10 percent wanted to cry. I did none of these, but went over to him where I proceeded to give him a full cleansing that would have made the guys in jumpsuits who do biohazard waste removal applaud. Satisfied, I moved on to every other surface in our ensuite as any good germaphobe would. I then proceeded to further explain how the potty is where we potty. I firmly reiterated that it is not for playing. It is yucky. All the while wondering how this limber, little person had placed himself inside our toilet so quickly.
It took me a full day to fully process these events. I wondered what kind of a mother I was for allowing my son to have access to sitting in a toilet. I wondered if I was too hard on him, or not hard enough. I had some mommy guilt. Then, I felt the Lord speaking gently, but firmly to my soul that I was His child. As I was trying to guide our nearly two year old, Christ was guiding me. I had a lot to learn. Two lessons, specifically, from the previous day’s events. First, my son needed a mommy who would teach him in love everything he needed to know. Most importantly, to love and obey Jesus, but all the other ins and outs of life too. Second, I would never be a perfect mommy, but God has not called me to that task. There is a lot of grace, and grace is what we all need. As I try my best in the Lord to parent Kanaan, God is taking those imperfect moments to train me. I am HIS child, and He is teaching me through my children whether it is waiting for our second through adoption or guiding our toddler.
So today, as our sweet babe spilled the majority of a sippy cup of milk onto my newly mopped floors and refused to eat his lunch, I said in my spirit, “What are you teaching me, Lord? I am listening today.”
“Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children.” Ephesians 5:1